Monday, August 17, 2009

NMM

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I knew we were running low on diapers. At midnight, 2 nights ago, the word "low" became the word "out" of diapers. As Baby L is bellowing the alarm to let all the world know his shorts are full of sloppy green blueberry poo, I am frantically searching every nook and cranny, for one precious hiding diaper. To no avail. What is a girl to do when no stores are open and her baby is in desperate need of clean and dry manly bits...I don't know about her, but I definitely would NOT suggest snagging a pair of his 3 yr old sisters princess panties, sticking an extra long/with wings pad to it, and praying to the powers that be that the "Super absorbency" claim would hold true to it's promise. And upon inspection in the morning, when noticing that the super pad had saved the day, it certainly did not cross my mind to permanently trade in the diapers for the pads seeing as though it would be SO much cheaper!!

This week I received a huge gash to my forehead. Sometimes it's just the price you have to pay when you are a hero like me, jumping into busy hi-ways to save runaway baby carriages. Not everyone is called to the life of a gallant daredevil goddess of liberation. But those of us who are, don't even think twice or bat an eyelash when duty calls, even if we incur some harm in the process, it's all totally worth it. I can assure you that I am not embellishing the story whatsoever and that this gash was not just a huge zit. I can also assure you that after living with this atrocity for an entire week, I had not exhausted all of my first aid options for such a nasty laceration, and so decided to smother the entirety of the right side of my face with Butt Paste diaper creme as I slept. Glad to say, my hero scar is diminishing nicely.

And to make us all feel a little better about ourselves, and to remind us that it really can happen to anyone...a few pictures of things that any mother would tell you did not happen.

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4 comments:

Mama4Real said...

aaaaaaaaaaaaahahahaha, I have never seen the "nursing" pic before, that's fabulous! Good job on the maxi-per. Impressive! I love u:)

{Kimber} said...

very inventive!! good job! :)

~M~ said...

Wow, I got tears from laughing so hard at those pictures....I especially liked the one of the kid licking the pig...."That did not happen"....hahahaha!

I really enjoyed your blog post and will continue to read.

~M~

megan said...

Oh thank you thank you thank you!! I came across your youngest's birth story in another fb page and found your blog. And just thank you, thank you for reminding me that every mother sometimes has those "this is not my life" moments. Of course we love our children beyond words, but even the perfect of Mothers has to doubt herself and her seed when they find their baby playing in poo, or cutting hair, or big kids stealing whipped cream can then hiding in club house. So I thank you for the pic's which reminded me I am not alone. Your whitty frank blog is refreashing and I love it. You have a new an in me. God bless! Meg- ps those panty liners musta hurt something awful comin off!!