NOT ME MONDAY

5 months it's been.

I'm so sure your lives have been so depressing without my insanely wise ramblings. I apologize for your increased counseling bills, the higher than normal chocolate consumption, and any wild and irrational neon hair colors that have resulted from my absence. (Ahem, Julie.)

What better day to come back to the bloggisphere than a NOT ME MONDAY ?
So for your Momma Bex update, I give you 5 months of NMM's that have been piled under my TOTALLY clean carpet...

1) We do not live in the freezing cold north. We do not throw massive parties when the mercury rises above O. And we certainly would not throw our children outside to swim just to get some peace and quiet inside the house...especially if they still needed a cheetah fur coat on to fill the pool...


2) My "baby" is not a total piro, and did not knock over a candle on our dinning room table, only to singe off Queen S's most favorite doll's hair. And he is such a sensitive boy, he definitely did not laugh hysterically at the sight of her prized possession aflame.


3) This is Princess B. Remember her? She's super sweet and caring and gentle and actually quite shy. So there's no way that only seconds after this shot was taken at a local park, she let out a scream that would put any horror film star to shame, and then grabbed this poor unsuspecting boy's ear, stared him down with fury in her eyes and breathed in his face the words, "My wheel. Don't ever touch again."
Never! NOT my kid. Nope.


And now a few point form NMM updates:

My Queen S is not growing up way too fast and certainly did not graduate kindergarten last week. I do not officially have a grade one-er. Sigh.


It appears that Queen S will be the only school aged girl in our family as Princess B will not be going into kindergarten this September. There's no way that she's already that age.


I am NOT old enough to be mother to TWO school aged babes!! I will NOT be turning 30 in less than 3 weeks. I will always be 18. Forever.


My precious baby boy is still a baby. He did not have his 2nd birthday last week, and he is not amazing me every day at how much he has changed and learned in his first 2 years. Not that he IS two. Just saying, uh, if he WAS 2, he'd sure have learned a lot. Yeah.


And lastly,

this is not me.

At 12 weeks pregnant.

With baby #4.

Because we are, ahem, were , done at 3.