Thursday, August 25, 2011
It's No Secret...
...that I am not perfect.
Oh wait...what's that? You thought I was?
Wait...who just hijacked my blog and is posting ridiculous lies about me...of COURSE I'm perfect...
No. No, I'm not.
And this week, was one where God seemed to be teaching me a lesson.
Now, some lessons are fun, like learning how to make a double fudge brownie cake, and licking the beaters every 3 seconds...
But this kind of lesson, is one more akin to learning how to solve a calculus problem while barefoot water skiing across a fiery lake of lava as it rains acid from the clouds and your mouth is jam packed full of killer bees.
It kinda hurts.
If you haven't already noticed,
you may be totally blind and should make an appointment to get your vision checked STAT, I may have a slight problem with, oh, being a control freak. There is a reason to my madness, and that is that when I feel like I'm in control, it creates the illusion of safety.
Problem is, it's an illusion. And that became superlatively obvious this week to me.
Our church has a Children's Pastor, and this summer, she had an intern working with her. These 2 people, by just being their totally awesome selves, have aided my growth out of the 100% control freak category, and now I am proud to say, I'm more like only 98% freaky. I know!! Cue the orchestra and dust off the party hats! It's been amazing, yet scary, yet awesome, and stretching, and they probably don't even have the slightest clue.
See, they thought it would be nice to give the moms and dads in the church a break, and take out some of the kids for a half to whole day fun fest. How exciting!
My first thought was OH! THE KIDS WILLL LOVE THIS!
My second thought was WHAT am I going to DO with all this spare time!!?? It's more valauble and certainly more rare than gold these days!!
And my third thought...WAIT.A.SECOND. A whole day withOUT me hovering over them making SURE they have fun and are safe and are entertained and are safe and are getting along and are safe....and are safe....and are safe....
*answering machine message*..."Hi, this is mommabex calling, and I'm sorry to say that my kids will not be able to go with you to fabulous-fun-land-candy-mountain because, well, funny enough,
they ALL have gotten malaria this week...er... they all fell out of a tree and have broken all their lims...um... they have coincidently been enrolled in a 'How to cook chinese cuisine" class all week, 24 hours a day...hhmmm... their mother is a complete and total paranoid control freak and the thought of them being out of my radar for even a nanosecond makes me want to hurl up last nights enchiladas while subsequently gouging my eyeballs out with spoons while singing at the top of my puked out lungs to Rebecca Black's "Friday". Okay. Thanks for the offer though, maybe next time. Or not. Call again. Or don't. Byebye now."
So, when I went to actually leave this message, the funniest thing happened. My body was taken over by an alien and I heard my own voice say, "That sounds lovely. See you at 10. The kids will be ready."
WHAT IN THE CRAZY BLUE BLAZES? I FREAKING hate ALIENS.
So. Not once. BUT 3 SEPARATE TIMES....I allowed my children to be AWAY from the mommabex-o-meter, and *gasp* have fun!
And wanna know something TOTALLY insane?
They came back alive.
And gushing about the great time they had.
And asking when they can
get away from me go out again with J&T.
Oh, and alive.
THAT, my friends, is what they call...shock and awe.
So, THANK YOU J&T, from the very bottom of my heart.
For not only giving my children the time of their lives and creating memories that will last a lifetime, but for helping this insane momma lose control like Britney Spears...er..I still have your hair shaver btw, ... It means the world to us all. You are SO valued, and SO loved, and we are SO blessed to have you in OUR tribe, OUR peeps!!