Friday, August 21, 2009


Journal entry 2 years ago:

August 22, 2007

Just got my surgery done. Lump is gone.


God just blows me away. My main RN taking care of me - total amazing Christian man. He prayed with me, and sat and listened to me read my book on grace that I brought with me while I nervously waited.

I felt like God set that up just for me.

He sees me.

I matter to Him.

He wanted to calm my fear.

I am humbled by this, and beyond grateful.

Thank you Jesus for never leaving me, and for your tangible presence through this entire process. Your peace and grace are more than enough for me. Now, I thank you for keeping my body infection free as I heal.

I randomly came across this entry tonight. On the eve of this exact date. I think God might be reminding me that He's got my back. It's been a bit rough in the past few weeks. But in all the stress, uncertainty, unexpected changes, tiredness that this life can present us with, at the end of the day, He's got our backs. At the beginning of the day...He's got our backs.
He sees us.
We matter to Him.
I am reminded.
I am thankful.


Monday, August 17, 2009



I knew we were running low on diapers. At midnight, 2 nights ago, the word "low" became the word "out" of diapers. As Baby L is bellowing the alarm to let all the world know his shorts are full of sloppy green blueberry poo, I am frantically searching every nook and cranny, for one precious hiding diaper. To no avail. What is a girl to do when no stores are open and her baby is in desperate need of clean and dry manly bits...I don't know about her, but I definitely would NOT suggest snagging a pair of his 3 yr old sisters princess panties, sticking an extra long/with wings pad to it, and praying to the powers that be that the "Super absorbency" claim would hold true to it's promise. And upon inspection in the morning, when noticing that the super pad had saved the day, it certainly did not cross my mind to permanently trade in the diapers for the pads seeing as though it would be SO much cheaper!!

This week I received a huge gash to my forehead. Sometimes it's just the price you have to pay when you are a hero like me, jumping into busy hi-ways to save runaway baby carriages. Not everyone is called to the life of a gallant daredevil goddess of liberation. But those of us who are, don't even think twice or bat an eyelash when duty calls, even if we incur some harm in the process, it's all totally worth it. I can assure you that I am not embellishing the story whatsoever and that this gash was not just a huge zit. I can also assure you that after living with this atrocity for an entire week, I had not exhausted all of my first aid options for such a nasty laceration, and so decided to smother the entirety of the right side of my face with Butt Paste diaper creme as I slept. Glad to say, my hero scar is diminishing nicely.

And to make us all feel a little better about ourselves, and to remind us that it really can happen to anyone...a few pictures of things that any mother would tell you did not happen.








Friday, August 14, 2009

Just watched 17 again.

I am a HUGE SUCKER for anything chick-flick-ish.

I loved this movie.

And now I have discovered I am a huge sucker for Zac Efron.

I know he's like 12 and all, but he's a cute 12 year old who personally I think can actually really act.

My one question is this though....

In the movie there was the young character (Zac) and then him as an older man (played by Chandler. HA! Can't even remember his real name...but y'all know Chandler.)

As much as I love Chandler, I couldn't get my head around the fact that Zac looks exactly like a different older hottie actor who I think would have been a much better choice for the role...

I'm just saying...


John Stamos

I KNOW, right?? Just saying...


Wednesday, August 12, 2009

A worthy cause

Alright already, I hear you!

You can stop screaming at me demanding pictures of the 3 cutest kids on the planet!

Here they are...


BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....Oh the things I do to bring you joy. I know, I'm a saint. You can thank me later. Or I am accepting all things covered in sugar, since it is Sugar Awareness Month. At least in my house it is. And I am doing my part to be very aware of it. And all the goodness it entails. So I might expand the awareness to next month as well. In fact, I do believe a year is the very least we can do for such an important cause. A year it is. The phone lines are now open for your contributions. It's for the children.

And here are some sweet,warm fuzzy images to help soften up your hearts and wallets to this worthy cause.

Emptying her piggy bank for this honorable charity.

Hoping the Fairy Godmother fills up her purse!

Hypnotizing coins out of even the smallest and wettest of pockets.

Rebelling against all things sugar-free...apples and perogies...forget it.

And if all this can't convince you, I leave with you images to burn into your subconscious of the beautiful lives you will be helping. How can you turn away from these? Have you no soul?


Give now. If I have to eat another blueberry, I may just shrivel up and die. Oh, I mean the children, right, it's all for the children.


Monday, August 10, 2009



Another Great idea from MckMama. And so, I steal. You read. We all realize our kids do gross stuff. We laugh. It's all good. And go.

Three hours into our road trip home, I looked in the rear view mirror only to notice that my eldest child was not sucking all of the chocolate off of her Glossett Raisins, carefully looking both ways, and then promptly shoving just the raisin in her baby brother's mouth. Which he seemed indeed very grateful for.

When house sitting at my parents place, the Fed-ex guy pulled up. As I opened the door, I suddenly became very aware that my 3 year old was, shall we say, completely void of clothing, and standing right beside me. As this twenty-something man began turning shades of magenta, I whispered to said little person (who may or may not be my child at this moment) to go put her swimsuit on to cover her naked parts. At which point, she bent fully down to take a good look at her girly bits, and then did not declare loud enough for China to hear, "NOPE, my sugar bowl seems quite happy naked thanks. It's just breathin' you know!" Nope, not my child, cause she's a perfect model of modesty at all time. Just like yours, I am sure.

Baby L was gifted this very cute and entertaining manly toy. (Cause he don't play with girl toys. Ever. Moving on.)


I always know when he's playing with the basketball, b/c from any room in the house I can hear the score sound and then the subsequent music ringing out his victory. The only thing is, the two balls it came with are somewhere in the black hole of my van's trunk that has yet to be fully unpacked from our journeys. So we have been trying, unsuccessfully, to find the perfect small sized ball to substitute the ones it came with. Until today. I was in the kitchen, when suddenly the bells and whistles are screaming and declaring a slam dunk and baby L's laughter is echoing in my hall. As I peek my head around the corner, I saw that Baby L did not have one side of his diaper unattached and dragging on the floor, as a nice sized poo ball lay proudly at the bottom of the net, music still bellowing out his achievement.

Photobucket is back!

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Gift Boxes

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.


Today, as I looked at the above verse, I was shocked to find that within my heart are several multi-sized gift boxes. Some are shiny and wide, and could maybe fit a notebook. Some are larger, with patterns, and maybe could fit a plasma television. Some are bigger yet, with stripes, and possibly could even fit an elephant. What I know for sure is that all of them, every single one, is too small.

Let me explain.

As much as anyone tries to plan their life, one can never know exactly how the every day, minute by minute life will for sure play out. I have been described as a type A person. When I looked this up, Wikipedia shoved this definition in my face... ain't pretty.

Type A individuals can be described as impatient, time-conscious, concerned about their status, highly competitive, ambitious, business-like, aggressive, having difficulty relaxing; and are sometimes disliked by individuals with Type B personalities for the way that they're always rushing. [1] They are often high-achieving workaholics who multi-task, drive themselves with deadlines, and are unhappy about delays. Because of these characteristics, Type A individuals are often described as "stress junkies."

WELL! I NEVER! At first glance, I thought "What a horrible thing I have been called!!" But after my outrage subsided slightly, I took another glance, and when I re-read it, I saw things a little differently.
~on time
~high achieving (A.I.A president, remember)

Hmmm, seems like maybe this isn't all bad...and it is a little how I am...but regardless of how you see the definition, in a positive or negative light, one thing is for sure. Type A people (me being one of them) may be stress junkies, but when you wrap all of these characteristics into a ball...I think more than being a stress junkie, we are TOTAL control freaks.

This is where the gift boxes come in.

Scenario A : My closest friend moving to a new far away city. My heart is bleeding. I am broken. In the midst of this agony, do I trust God? My friend said they prayed and know this is where God is leading them, even though she is hurting from leaving as well. Do I trust that God loves us both enough to know what He's doing with moving her away from me? I have decided that I do trust Him, just enough to fill a medium sized box, maybe one with a purple ribbon. I will place God in that one, let Him control that little bit, and then figure it out myself.

Scenario B : First of the month is tomorrow. Bills are all due. Just enough money is in the bank to cover said bills. Van breaks down. Will require half of amount in account. Need van next day for travel to far away city for business. Do I trust God with our finances? Does He use cash in Heaven? Will He send some to me? In the shadow of the worlds disasters, is he aware of our situation? I have decided that I do trust Him, just enough to fit a small black and white patterned box, maybe one similar to one you'd get from Tiffany's. Yes, I would place God in that one, then take care of the rest myself. For this IS our finances, our livelihood, food in my children's belly's, yes, I better just take care of this pretty much on my own. You want something done, do it yourself, that's my motto. Cause remember, I am type A control freak.

Scenario C : My bank card is missing. I promised Queen S that we'd go back to school shopping today. I try to remember the last place I used it. I look all over my house. I look in random drawers, baskets and cupboards. I check jean pockets, every purse fold and even the Barbie purses and clothing. Do I trust God in this situation? Do I think He can put the right place in my mind and lead me in that direction? Do I think He can see it right now? I have decided that I do trust Him, just enough to fit an elephant sized box. You may think this is a lot. And it kind of is. But trust me, as an A type, I know what I am doing. I know that I can risk trusting God this much because if He fails me, then I know it won't be that big of a deal to postpone the trip and just handle it on my own after I have bought more time. There are only so many places it could be, so if God decides not to help me, then I can fall back on me, because I can depend on me.


Even just writing this, I find it embarrassing and disgusting that my mind has been in a pattern of thinking this way. Is this what the verse at the top says? Doesn't it go,

"Trust in the Lord in increments of gift boxes,
and lean on your own understanding when he fails you,
When you are desperate, acknowledge Him
And he may or may not pull through for you."

You know what I did tonight? I had a bon fire. I used my boxes as kindling. I have decided to be vulnerable and trusting with a God who has yet to fail me, who in fact has given me every reason to trust Him. A God who says that He catches every one of my tears in a jar, because He remembers my sorrows, and grieves with me. A God who says He knew me before I was in my mother's womb, and who knows the number of hairs on my head. A God who says that the number of GOOD thoughts He has toward ME far out numbers the sands on all of this worlds shores. THAT is a lot of good thoughts toward me! A God, who layed down His life, so that I do not have to feel judged in His presence. So I can come to Him in all my A type personality, and so I can know that I can trust Him.

Just enough to box at all.