Tuesday, December 23, 2008

...uh, I guess that just means me...

GrandProfile.com is your one stop for Myspace Graphics












Friday, December 19, 2008


Someone else wanted a turn in the madness too...

"Who you callin fat? I'm just fluffy!"


Wednesday, December 17, 2008

A Chilly WW

(Plus a couple of bonus stories b/c Santa told me you have all been good girls this year. )
...member my 3 words from LAST Wednesday??? Well......






Santa came to the preschool party today. Queen S thought he was ok. She gave him a courtesy smile, but I could tell she was a little worried about why he wasn't making toys up at the North Pole.

Is it any wonder when an old man puts on a fake beard and is overly enthusiastic about having little children on his lap, that some youngsters react like this??



Mommy needs to sort through laundry. How oh HOW to keep my girls occupied,entertained, and getting along? My sheer brilliance was a barbie bath party....well....


10 minutes later, their sheer brilliance was this.....


What I love about this:

They are in a contained space...within another contained space...let the water splash!!

They have personal space...so no kicking, bumping,toy stealing, or giving a sister a surprise shower with the colander.

They were content playing while mommy ransacked the laundry room for....drumroll please... 1 & 1/2 HOURS!!!!

Oh, yes! We WILL be using THIS method to bust up the madness again...and again and again and again!! (PS...pay no attention to the griminess of my tub...the maid was off this week. And the week before. She may never come back. She's too busy with the laundry.)

Monday, December 15, 2008

TSJGKSOP...I mean, NMM...soooo sleepy


My baby has been sick for 4 weeks now. He does not sleep. In turn, I do not sleep. When one does not sleep for days to weeks at a time, she ends up doing things and saying things that may not make any sense...to anyone else at least...although she may think she makes perfect sense, and all the world around her has jumped off the deep end. It's like living in a parallel universe...a zombie universe. And once you have been there, your face becomes your passport, and gets stamped with the evidence of the trip. It's easy to see, when you are a mommy, the others who have gone before you to this comatose world, and those who are with you. Right. Now. So, welcome, fellow journeywomen, to the unbalanced NMM confessions of a very sleep deprived Mommy.

  • I did not try to pay for my groceries with my library card. It was rejected.
  • I was not completely confused when 10 seconds after changing baby L's diaper, his pants were soaking wet. Only to realize that I did not actually put a "lil swimmer" diaper on him by mistake.
  • I did not fall asleep in the church nursery while nursing the baby and nearly miss my solo.
  • After said solo, I did not go back to the nursery and realize that the right cup of my bra was still folded under my boob...and had been during the entire time I was on stage. I was not thanking God that I was wearing a tight tank top under my sweater that *hopefully* concealed this tidbit of information.
  • I did not commit the unpardonable woman sin and ask the lady at swimming lessons when she's due. She's not pregnant. Crawling in hole now.
  • Finally, I did not decide to take a nice relaxing break from crazytown and have a bath...too bad I thought the toilet cleaner was the bubble bath. It did make bubbles. They were blue. And didn't smell too stawberry-ish. Took me a second to figure out maybe I shouldn't step into the tub.


Friday, December 12, 2008

Kiss MG goodbye!

So I had a bad day.

My excuses span from lack of...ahem...I mean NO sleep, to the sucky economy, to pressure of christmas concerts and recitals and kids angel costumes being made, and no snow as of December 11th, blah blah blah. This, and plenty more, put me in somewhat of a compromised demeanor.

And therefore, I threw fits like an expert toddler for most of the day and had, well, in mommy terms, very bad behaviour.

I could talk about the entire pan of brownies I managed to eat by myself, yet blame on the kids when Daddy G asked.

Or the movie upon movie that my darling children's eyeballs were glued to all day long.

Or maybe the dishes that piled up on top of the dishwasher. Yeah. They got THAT close. But I couldn't even open it up and put them in. Just stack em to the roof.

Or what about the phone calls that I didn't answer all day cause I couldn't bring myself to be cheery to anybody, especially the outsourced indian lady demanding I pay up the 40 bux owing on my phone bill. Sigh.

But beyond all of those trivial things...there was this.
I was extremely snappy to Queen S. I was irritated, not because of anything she was doing per say, but just because I was having a bad day, and somehow that justified my rude tude.

Nearing the end of this miserable day, I began to feel something very heavy resting it's full body weight on my shoulders. Ah, yes. Hello familiar friend...or not friend...Mommy Guilt was back to claim a stake in the carnage of the day.

The thing with Mommy Guilt is that if you try to put in place the old saying, "Ignore it and it will go away"...you find that it really DID only apply to bumblebees. It doesn't go away. In fact, in my humble experience, I find ignoring it is actually like watering a hungry plant, and it just grows and grows and gets heavier and influences more snappy behavior.

The best thing to do with this ugly visitor is to send her packing asap. The only way to do that is to do the very thing that you would try to avoid at all costs when you were a child...yep...say you are sorry.

I hopped into the shower with Queen S and whist bubbling up her still babysoft skin, I apologized. I was sure she had been stung by my attitude and lack of mothering skills, and was almost positive she would bow her head down and mumble something like "It's ok mom", when really, we both knew it wasn't ok. After the words were out of my mouth, it is an understatement to say that I was completely surprised that her response was nothing what I expected.

With a cheerful look up into my eyes, she tilted her head and asked, "For what Mommy? I didn't see you do anything."

Good thing the shower was sprinkling water drops all over my face, so the tears could just blend in. I was sure I had damaged her for life by ignoring her most of the day and being snappy at her when she asked something. I was sure I'd be paying for years of therapy for her as she blubbered to her counsellor about what a terrible selfish mother she had. Instead, not only was I forgiven, but the wrong was not even seen through her eyes. She just looked at me through this pure innocent love. My behavior didn't affect how she loved me. Can you feel a lesson coming on? I could feel it at the moment, and I love when I hear the voice of God through my kids. It's the most humble way of a gentle reminder from my Father...

I think we, as mommies, have a knack for not only inviting Mommy Guilt up onto our shoulders, but also to feed her, and give her a bath, and read her bedtime stories. At least I know I do. I feel like I'd rather carry the guilt that have to go to God, admit I'm a shmuck sometimes, and feel deflated and empty after. But this week, He reminded me of this. He's already forgiven me. It's formality for me to come and ask, for the good of MY heart to become repentant. But as far as He's concerned, you never have to worry about Him rejecting your appeal. He will ALWAYS say to you, no matter WHAT the wrong, "I didn't see you do anything." As soon as we are repentant, He removes our sin as far as the East is from the West is what my Bible says.

This does not mean there are not natural consequences for our rebellious behavior....you murder someone, our justice laws say you rot in jail...but if you come to God repentant....he's forgiven you and promises to remove the sin...and to be with you every second as you rot away. Your behavior does not affect how MUCH He loves you. Crazy hey?

This is a bit deeper than the usual Momma's Moments post, but sometimes when the lightbulb comes on, I like to share with my chocolates...oh...that's what I have started calling you all...because, like chocolates, you are good therapy for me and I can go for some at any hour of the day...or night.

Love you all. Be encouraged...don't be so hard on yourself...we're all running this ratrace together!



Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Monday, December 8, 2008

Tights & fish & bubbles...OH MY!!


I have found that there is little more satisfying in my journey of motherhood than admitting that I am not perfect, that I do not know it all, and that I cut corners at mindblowing speeds. Feel free to share a NMM anecdote in the comment section to help us all breath a little easier, knowing there is someone else doing the same crazy stuff to survive. ;) But first....

When leaving Grandma & Grandpa's house on Saturday, after being there for 3 days, I was not putting on Princess B's boots when I realized that she was not wearing the same tights she had on when we arrived. I did not go back in my memory and have it dawn on me that she actually never took them off...for three days...and three nights...let's not even MENTION the lack of bathtime that implies. I would never go 3 days w/o giving my child a bath, nope, not me!

Speaking of tights...It certainly would never cross my mind to put pink and yellow butterfly tights on my baby BOY just to make sure his chunky legs weren't quivering under his pants in the cold arctic air up at Grandma's place. Who would do that? Probably someone who would also wrap their boy up in a pink monkey fleecy blanket after dressing him in pink and green giraffe pj's, and topping it off with a pink sucky in his toothless grin. That would NOT be me! But if it were, I'd know that real men can wear pink, so it wouldn't bother me in the least, even though it was all for the warmth factor..IF I had done that that is...

I did not enjoy playing in the snow like a 5 year old when we pulled over at a rest stop on the way to Gramma's icy abode. There was nothing in me that wished my city might see a single snowflake before Christmas day.


After taking a nice long sudsy shower, I did not exit the bathroom to find baby L bawling for a boobie. After getting comfy with the babe on my lap, I did not...er...taste the goods before letting him go to town, just to make sure they didn't taste like pomegranate shower gel. That'd be gross. And who can really reach that far down anyways?

I did not nearly leave a yellow puddle on the floor after laughing so hard at baby L's rendition of Riverdancing in his Jolly Jumper.


I did not sob like a snot covered baby when my oldest babe, Queen S, read her very first book to Grandma. I was not the proudest person on the blessed planet at that moment!

I am not secretly hoping our fish...Mr.Fish...dies soon, so that I can stop running downstairs before the kids in the morning to check...so if he HAS, I can send him to fishy heaven w/o them noticing. The fish swims sideways for pete's sake, how many days can be left?

My mouth is STILL not on the ground from the sight of these gas prices....

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

(Not even CLOSE to a) Wordless Wednesday

I was spring...er...winter cleaning today. Not because I was motivated to clean, mind you, rather I was bored of my house. You know when you get like that...it's time to move the couch to the other side of the room and search through a few cupboards, the storage closet, the bathroom shelves, and dig up random items from years past. Besides digging up enough lost treasure to buy several happy meals, I came across an old jewelry box (lovingly dubbed the "special box"). My dad had one made for both of my brothers and me when he was on business in Pakistan. (My offspring contract stipulates I not tell anyone that he's a mob boss.) It's beautiful dark rosewood with my name engraved in brass on the top, and it was stuffed full of nostalgic goodies.


  • An absolutely disgusting "une gourde" bill from Haiti when my mom & I went to bring home my 2 adopted sisters in 1995. They do not recycle their money like we do, and just the raggedy look and smell of this tender makes me curious (and revolted) as to what is growing on it from the millions of hands it has been in over the years.


  • An empty sample sized tube of "NAVY" perfume. I think it was at least half full when it was put in the box, but over the last 13 years, I think it evaporated. It used to be my favorite smell in junior high.


  • (My pride is beaming on this one) A Youth Bowling Council medallion. Yeah. That's right. I could kick your tooshie in bowling. And no, it's not only for geeks. Right? Guys? (sagebrush rolling through the deserted cowboy town and a lone whistle in the background)


  • A little piece of wood with purple felt writing that reads "S + Becky". Hmm. I have no clue who "S" is. Anyone? Remember? Haha. Ok, so I may have been a slight diva in my teenage years...BUT I was a bowling diva!


  • An old movie stub claiming that I held hands with a certain boy at that particular showing. I do remember that boy. I don't remember holding hands. Or the movie. Hmm. (Name has been blurred so that Angelina Jolie doesn't Laura Croft me if she notices her man's moniker.)


  • Because I was so spiritual when growing up, I never passed notes during church. But, you know...if I had...one might have looked something like this:
Me: What do you want?
Josh: You(r awesome body)...{bracket words added by James who intercepted the note}
Me: Oh yah! I want you too. (Like I said...super spiritual)
Josh: Excellent and groovy. When's the wedding?
Me: I'll let you pick the date, but it has to be in March.
Josh: My birthday is next Thursday. Should we invite pee and poo? (Maturity at it's best)
James: (Another interception) I'll have to ask my 2nd and 3rd wives which date for
our wedding will be best.
Me: Uh, which one of you am I getting married to?
Josh: You are marrying James...(which James crossed out and wrote Josh over top.) But I will always love you, and so will Tim. He'll probaby crash the wedding.


I would like to think I have matured maybe a *bit* since the things in this box were placed there. But then I think about that note. And inviting pee and poo. And call me juvenile, but you may just catch me smirking.