Never Again

I would really like to say never again, but, being part of a fickle people short of memory and fat in self centeredness....

...let's just say...for today....never again.

Never again will I complain about having taco salad for 3 nights in a row, when this man is eating his first meal of the week...on Thursday.



Never again will I tell myself, "you can brush their teeth tomorrow" as I forgo the evening routine due to tiredness, when this sweet babe is learning brushing hygiene for the first time at age 3. She has already lost 4 teeth, due to not having a toothbrush and toothpaste.



I will never again feel embarrassed for driving a minivan, when this man's chariot has no brakes, no roof to keep the rain off of him and certainly no trunk room to carry all of the "necessary" things I need daily.



Never again will I complain about my 6 year old extremely warm Columbia winter jacket being out of style, when someone in my city will be donning a jean jacket throughout the entire winter, considering it their salvation.



Never again will I feel sorry for myself for not being able to afford to get my roots touched up "this month", when this man was so grateful to get the mats cut out of his hair that had accumulated over the past 2 years. (It brought tears to my eyes watching the joy of his moment.)



Never again will I complain about my closet not being big enough, when this man's entire life fits in a duffel bag and a garbage sac.




This past Wednesday and Thursday, I was here:



I was asked to be the photographer for this city event and what started as a mere job, transformed my thinking like I could not have imagined. Sometimes it takes getting on a plane and flying to a Guatemalan dump to feel the radical shift of culture and let it shock your system and your world thinking into the proper place where it should be. Thankful. And sometimes it just takes stepping out in your very own city, to remember that there are many many people who would LOVE to have ...your problems.

Note to Self:

You may know the type.

The days that you suspect are part of your life if ONLY for teaching you patience.

I've had a lot of those all sandwiched on top of each other for weeks now. But just recently, may I possibly *whisper* this without the cosmos hearing me and crashing in on the party...I think it's getting better. Like a LOT better. The routines that we began in September are now getting done like we're on auto-pilot. And Momma is feeling at home again in this new chapter of life. *Big sigh*

So. I just wanted to write down a few things, if not for you, than at least for me to look back on, if for some unbeknownst reason to me, the crazy days pop up again, which I am SURE they won't, then I can try to see the silver lining if I squint hard enough.

1. When you have spent an entire week wearing sweats, the *ahem*same sweats, at least your booty still fits in them after consuming untold amounts of Oreo Cakesters while sobbing over Grey's Anatomy.
2. If You're so desperate for adult conversation that you spill your guts to the telemarketer that calls...and HE hangs up on YOU...well, at least you still have a phone, and you can always call Skyla, she'll put you on speakerphone and "uh huh" mindlessly for hours.
3. If popsicles have become a staple food group, remember the sound of silence that follows is priceless. And chocolate milk ones count for one dairy serving, it's the law.
4. When your feet are sticking to the kitchen floor, crank up that old Snoop Dog song and work the sticky sound in with your killer dance moves.
5. If you are singing along to the Elmo song that's in your car's CD player long after you have dropped the kids off, well, there's no silver lining on that one. Please get help. Immediately.
6. If your purse contains packages of Pepperage farm goldfish, a juice box, assorted wrappers and and two soothers, at least you can zip that thing shut and everyone will just think it's a lovely bag... oh, except for the fact that your 3 year old has written her huge name backwards in permanent marker on the side that you are unaware of... yeah... except that.
7. If Tylenol PM has become part of your daily vitamin intake, remember this is just the "light" stuff. People take much more heavier things to sleep. You are practically an organic druggie next to them. *Pat pat* way to go.
8. If you need a dress for an occasion and realize the night before that you don't have one and if you do, you don't have shoes other than Keds with grass stains on them, mmmm, don't forget how HOT you look in those sweats. Grab the Cakesters, throw out the scale, pop on a Grey's DVD, and forget the party. We all know chocolate and McDreamy are the only friends who are consistently faithful anyways.
9. And finally, when the baby eats 3/4 of the dog food, remind yourself, it's vitamin and mineral enriched, it's probably great for him too.

Now that I feel better about my crazy transition into a full time "school mom", I hope to be around this blogisphere a bit more. The air is....a little more sweet. Missed you my chocolates.

The shark did it.

Um...my computer fell in the bathtub?

Er...my best friend had septuplets and I had to go wet nurse 4 of them?

Mmm...both of my arms were gnawed off by a shark while swimming at the kiddie pool?

Hm. There must be SOME reason why my blog has been utterly rejected, ignored and snubbed by me?

Couldn't be that baby L started walking and I have not sat down since...

Or that Queen S began Kindergarten, and getting 3 kids out the door by 8:30 is a routine I am still getting used to...

Or that I have gone to bed 3 minutes after the kids are asleep for the whole month of september??

I want you to know that you are loved, so I have decided to give you a bullet point teaser list of the kind of glory you have sadly missed out on in the last month.

• After a morning music class with B and L, I noticed a stank coming from L's pants. Upon inspection, I realized it was only one lone poo ball, no bigger than a grape, reeking havoc upon my nostrils. What would ANY cheap *ahem*...thrifty, penny-pinching momma do? Of course.. pluck the poo ball from the top of the crack, gingerly toss it over her shoulder in the half filled parking lot, pull the sunglasses from top of head over eyes, chuck the kids in the van and STEP on it before the music teacher comes to get the binder she forgot in her car, and subsequently ending up cursing under her breath as she wipes off the 'dog poo' she traipsed upon.

• After her first full day of french kindergarten, imagine the pride I felt when I asked her what she had learned that day and she answered point blank, "I learned that the Stacey girl just should not wear red. It makes her hair look too bright." Wow. Good. Glad we are feeling proactive about Stacey's wardrobe misjudgment. C'est tres bien.

• There are few things I like more than a delish breakfast of waffles, eggs, hash browns and bacon. While in the kitchen one school day, preparing such a morning delight, Princess B meandered in, asking if she could help. I had put all of the waffle ingredients in the bowl, except the water, and it was perfect timing for her to pour it in, then whisk it up. I informed her of the plan, showed her the measuring cup which held the water, then went to the other side of the kitchen to stir up the hash browns. After a few minutes, I glanced back to notice Miss B stirring up a storm, yet the measuring cup of water strangely untouched. When I encouraged her again to pour the water in, she looked at me with those big bambi eyes, and replied, "But I did Mommy, I poured ALL the water in," as she held up a very empty large bottle of peppermint extract.

A few golden tidbits for the memory vault. Oh how these busy days with 3 young children make me laugh. I do believe I may just be living in the best days of my life.