Er...my best friend had septuplets and I had to go wet nurse 4 of them?
Mmm...both of my arms were gnawed off by a shark while swimming at the kiddie pool?
Hm. There must be SOME reason why my blog has been utterly rejected, ignored and snubbed by me?
Couldn't be that baby L started walking and I have not sat down since...
Or that Queen S began Kindergarten, and getting 3 kids out the door by 8:30 is a routine I am still getting used to...
Or that I have gone to bed 3 minutes after the kids are asleep for the whole month of september??
I want you to know that you are loved, so I have decided to give you a bullet point teaser list of the kind of glory you have sadly missed out on in the last month.
- After a morning music class with B and L, I noticed a stank coming from L's pants. Upon inspection, I realized it was only one lone poo ball, no bigger than a grape, reeking havoc upon my nostrils. What would ANY cheap *ahem*...thrifty, penny-pinching momma do? Of course.. pluck the poo ball from the top of the crack, gingerly toss it over her shoulder in the half filled parking lot, pull the sunglasses from top of head over eyes, chuck the kids in the van and STEP on it before the music teacher comes to get the binder she forgot in her car, and subsequently ending up cursing under her breath as she wipes off the 'dog poo' she traipsed upon.
- After her first full day of french kindergarten, imagine the pride I felt when I asked her what she had learned that day and she answered point blank, "I learned that the Stacey girl just should not wear red. It makes her hair look too bright." Wow. Good. Glad we are feeling proactive about Stacey's wardrobe misjudgment. C'est tres bien.
- There are few things I like more than a delish breakfast of waffles, eggs, hash browns and bacon. While in the kitchen one school day, preparing such a morning delight, Princess B meandered in, asking if she could help. I had put all of the waffle ingredients in the bowl, except the water, and it was perfect timing for her to pour it in, then whisk it up. I informed her of the plan, showed her the measuring cup which held the water, then went to the other side of the kitchen to stir up the hash browns. After a few minutes, I glanced back to notice Miss B stirring up a storm, yet the measuring cup of water strangely untouched. When I encouraged her again to pour the water in, she looked at me with those big bambi eyes, and replied, "But I did Mommy, I poured ALL the water in," as she held up a very empty large bottle of peppermint extract.