NMM

Because, of course, I only let books like "How to Make a Perfect Stew" and "How to Quilt for 24 Hours Straight and Not Lose Feeling in Your Fingers", in my house, there's no chance that I could have caught my daughters reading trashy celebrity gossip magazines. If by chance, they somehow ended up in my house, I would have to plead the 5th and say that I have no clue who would buy such junk.

Because I am all for teaching practical life lessons, I thought it would be a fantastic idea to let Princess B help with the waffle making.And it was a great experience, especially since I didn't exhaust my voice saying, "Hands AWAY from the waffle iron, it's HOT!" After the thousandth reminder, I certainly did not turn to grab some flour, when I hear a shrieking cry and this being the result:

I did not let my child turn into a raisin in the tub while I finished reading about Edward and Bella.

I do not feed my children junk...see? 66 % REAL fruit juice! It even says NATURAL! I KNOW!!

I always dress my kids in their clothes to play downstairs. I would never let them just romp around in their swimsuits. That's unladylike. You never know when the queen may stop in.

I do not place my hair on my son's head pretending he's a girl...or at least that he's got hair. Nope, would never.

And finally, I do not miss my 6 month baby belly.

Because, look!! I still HAVE a 6 month baby belly!!

WW.. Can they honestly ever be wordless?

First, a couple disclaimers:
a)pictures of pictures don't work so great. :P
b)I apologize profusely to my bridesmaids for my choice of fabrics, gotta love late nineties/early 2000's style...but it could have been worse.
c)Even though I have pictures to prove I was there, several sleep deprived years later, I can not remember what it felt like to not have bags under my eyes and only have to clean up after 2 people. I assume it was very boring. :P

Praying before I walk down the isle. Probably that I don't puke on King G. I was SOOOOOOOO sick from some kind of tropical flu.

After several licks and sucks on that blasted 'swollen from nerves' finger...THE RING IS ON PEOPLE! It's official!

My girls. (Denise,Liz,Skyla,Veron,Kelly,Tanya,Jackie. And Patricia and Kelsey, my sisters and flower girls.)

The whole bridal party gang. 14 in all.

Mmmm, my sexy man and I. Just Married. On cloud 9. (The fuzz is on the picture, not his suit. HE was impeccable in every sense on the hottness thermometer.)

Yes, he still feeds me grapes. It's why I'm keeping him.

Running away to Mexico. We actually did.

The NMM grind...only from the best quality beans.

Well, first of all, I am not writing this still in my jammas even though it's nearly 4 in the afternoon. Oh, and baby L and Princess B have DEFINITELY been dressed today as well, and are not playing behind me in their jammas. And even if they were in their jammas, I certainly have BIG plans to change them into new ones before putting them back down for the night. Cause we all know that sleeping in one pair, then living all day in them, then sleeping in them for a second night is most assuredly something I, as an awesomely awesome mother, would never even dream of doing. Not me!

I did not give in to my Princess's pleas and let her have 2 giant marshmallows on her breakfast toast this morning b/c I was too tired to argue from a long night of musical bedrooms with sick children. And I definitely put the bag away in the proper high up cupboard after giving them to her, so there's no way I found her locked in the bathroom, mouth stuffed full of marshmallows 15 minutes later.

Speaking of food, since I am the most healthy, organic loving, crunchy momma on earth, you would never catch me downing a coke before 8:30 am in hopes that the caffeine/sugar combo would give me a better boost that just a regular coffee. I don't recommend this. The crash is inevitable. Not that I would know. Just speculation.

When we took baby L to the dr for what ended up being a double ear infection, I was not embarrassed even in the slightest when the dr had to use a metal tool to get all the earwax out of his ears before he could even assess the situation. In both ears. Wads of wax. How does that happen? I certainly did not feel like I had created an unhygienic trailer park baby, even if it was just b/c of the infection. Not me!

Upon arrival back to our home after a week at Grandma's, I did not briskly walk to the fish tank and have a sense of relief when I saw our un-named beta floating sideways, not moving. And then was not equally perturbed when he suddenly began to swim again. With all these death defying acts, I'm thinking a good name for him might be Jesus.

I do not drink cherry kool-aid from a wine glass to feel more sophisticated. I was not horrified when Queen S "show & tell"-ed this fact at school, especially because it sounded more like this,
"My mommy drinks wine all day long. Even at breakfast."

Happy Back to the Future

So, everyone and their dog who has a blog (yes, I actually DO know someone who has a blog for their dog. They might need a serious vacation, in my humble opinion. :P ) is writing a Happy New Year post all about their resolutions and hopes and dreams for this clean slate that just begun we call 2009. Well, because I naturally like to resist fads and trends...besides Edward the vampire...(although for the record, I really DID try to withstand) , I thought instead, I might tell you what I would like for 2010. Ha. Just kidding. But, I HAVE learned in my short, but peculiar life that the past holds many an answer for the future, so step into my time machine, and wander with me back to New Years 2008 and lets do a bullet point summary of what we've learned this past year that could possibly aid us in the future...

• As far as the actual New Years EVE, I learned the hard way in 2008 not to let my, then just 2 year old and almost 4 year old, stay up and party with the grown ups. Two pukey bathroom trips for Princess B from too much fun at the chip table, plenty of alligator tears as the clock ticked closer to 12, one missing kitchen stool, leading to one missing ex-lax chocolate from the bathroom cabinet, leading to one giant poo log in the living room of the guest house, leading to a shade of red on my face usually reserved for tomatoes...bed time is at 7:30 from now on, no matter WHAT eve it may be.

  

• I learned in March that if you are willing to give up the classy ultrasound studios that offer dvd's of the experience, complete with lullaby music in sync with the fetal heartbeat in the background, you can pocket 200+ bux (you have to pay in my great country) on an ultrasound to determine gender, and instead, go to your friend's office who just happens to be a veterinarian and just happens to have her very own ultrasound machine (albeit an archaic one.) And after enough internet research, I discovered, it's quite easy to tell on your own what your baby is packing in between the legs. This is how we found out baby L was going to be our first babe with a twig & berries. (Can YOU spot the turtle?)

  

  In June...mmm, June. I learned much in June. I learned that having a sister-in-law who is willing to be your brain in your last weeks of pregnancy is like extra long grain 410 thread count European bedsheets on a soft king sized bed. As Martha Stewart would say...It's a good thing. June also reminded me of how thankful I should be for not having to go through the rest of the summer as big as a blue whale on an all Fugee-o diet. June was the month that I became well versed in the many natural ways to induce labor and then became good friends with castor oil. And finally, as you may have guessed by all the baby talk...we welcomed the final member of our family. Little (10 pound) baby L was born in our living room, surrounded by 5 strong, amazing women (and a jubilant Daddy!) I learned that a womans' body is a truly marvelous thing and is capable of much more than we tend to give it credit for. Let's just say, after that experience, this KD eating, kool-aid drinking momma, had become SEMI-crunchy. Semi. You couldn't pay me to toss my KD.
  

  

  

• I could be honest now and say that the rest of the year after that is just a sleepless blur, and I learned nothing to benefit my future self other than sleeeeeeeeeeep is gooooooooood. But I'm sure there were less massive things that I could drum up....like...when baking with a stove that's 50 degrees hotter than it says, don't just bake for less time at that temp. You'll still get hockey puck cup cakes.
  
• Or, it's probably worth while to invest in a personal recorder device of some kind when you have a 2 year old. This way, you can just record the "Use your words", "Suck in that big lip", "Do not feed the fish your chicken nuggets", instead of losing your voice at least once a week from repeating the aforementioned encouragements.
• Or a good lesson might be, when cleaning the floor, it is acceptable, maybe once in a blue moon, not that I ever do this, to kick a piece of macaroni under the fridge to avoid bending over...BUT...do not do this with an ice cube, or 10. They will melt. I promise you. And what you thought was an evil little secret between you and the little devil on your shoulder, is now getting EVERYONE'S socks sopping wet when they go to get milk for their cereal.

So all in all, 2008 had it's share of teachable moments and extraordinary endeavors. There is always much to take notice of, so that we can be better at what we missed the first time. Although sometimes, there ARE those rare occasions, when an event just might be so cataclysmic that it elicits your memory to forget forever it's moral. In my case, I have only one case that comes to mind from this year that fits nicely into this category. So after this one time of mentioning it, I shall forever erase it's significance in my memory. It just so happened that I was approximately 14 weeks pregnant, when my big boss stopped into my classroom. She only ever popped her head in maybe biannually and it was always a surprise. I was inwardly proud that on that day, I was wearing an outfit without any remnants of sparkles, glue or paint on it, and that my curriculum for the day could only be described as stellar. Miss. Big Wig took notes vigorously throughout the class, and after all my lil monkeys had cleared out she gave me a glowing report. I was feeling quite proud, when suddenly, without warning, my morning/afternoon/evening sickness decided to show up full force. Before I even had a split second to give any type of caution, or look the other way, I ralphed Campbell's chunky soup all over her thousand dollar, peep toed, Jimmy Choo black and red leather stilettos. What, oh WHAT, may I ask you can I learn from this? What could I have possibly done different? The answer is nothing. Absolutely nothing. That's why, from this moment on, this memoir of glory from 2008, is banished from my cranium.

So, take a moment, think back over your 2008 life lessons, laugh at a few, maybe cry at a few, and certainly banish a few. For you know, banishable memories are like shoes in a closet...you must get rid of a few old ones, to make room for the new ones! Happy 2009, my chocolates. YOU are loved much.

FROM ALL OF US HERE AT
MOMMA'S MAGIC MOMENTS
...uh, I guess that just means me...



DURING THE NEXT WEEK... or two....WE SURELY WILL BE DRINKING TOO MUCH OF THIS

AND EATING WAAAAAAY TOO MANY OF THESE

SO EVEN THOUGH WE'LL PROBABLY BE LOOKING A LITTLE MORE LIKE THIS

DON'T FORGET ME OKAY?

CAUSE I PROMISE PROMISE PROMISE I WILL

LOADS & LOADS OF CHRISTMAS TIME LOVE FROM US TO YOU!!!

ENJOY EVERY GIFT, BIG AND SMALL!

PS...

Someone else wanted a turn in the madness too...


"Who you callin fat? I'm just fluffy!"

A Chilly WW

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY
(Plus a couple of bonus stories b/c Santa told me you have all been good girls this year. )
...member my 3 words from LAST Wednesday??? Well......

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Santa came to the preschool party today. Queen S thought he was ok. She gave him a courtesy smile, but I could tell she was a little worried about why he wasn't making toys up at the North Pole.

Is it any wonder when an old man puts on a fake beard and is overly enthusiastic about having little children on his lap, that some youngsters react like this??

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Mommy needs to sort through laundry. How oh HOW to keep my girls occupied,entertained, and getting along? My sheer brilliance was a barbie bath party....well....

10 minutes later, their sheer brilliance was this.....

What I love about this:

They are in a contained space...within another contained space...let the water splash!!

They have personal space...so no kicking, bumping,toy stealing, or giving a sister a surprise shower with the colander.

They were content playing while mommy ransacked the laundry room for....drumroll please... 1 & 1/2 HOURS!!!!

Oh, yes! We WILL be using THIS method to bust up the madness again...and again and again and again!! (PS...pay no attention to the griminess of my tub...the maid was off this week. And the week before. She may never come back. She's too busy with the laundry.)