Thursday, January 1, 2009

Happy Back to the Future


So, everyone and their dog who has a blog (yes, I actually DO know someone who has a blog for their dog. They might need a serious vacation, in my humble opinion. :P ) is writing a Happy New Year post all about their resolutions and hopes and dreams for this clean slate that just begun we call 2009. Well, because I naturally like to resist fads and trends...besides Edward the vampire...(although for the record, I really DID try to withstand) , I thought instead, I might tell you what I would like for 2010. Ha. Just kidding. But, I HAVE learned in my short, but peculiar life that the past holds many an answer for the future, so step into my time machine, and wander with me back to New Years 2008 and lets do a bullet point summary of what we've learned this past year that could possibly aid us in the future...

  • As far as the actual New Years EVE, I learned the hard way in 2008 not to let my, then just 2 year old and almost 4 year old, stay up and party with the grown ups. Two pukey bathroom trips for Princess B from too much fun at the chip table, plenty of alligator tears as the clock ticked closer to 12, one missing kitchen stool, leading to one missing ex-lax chocolate from the bathroom cabinet, leading to one giant poo log in the living room of the guest house, leading to a shade of red on my face usually reserved for tomatoes...bed time is at 7:30 from now on, no matter WHAT eve it may be.

  • I learned in March that if you are willing to give up the classy ultrasound studios that offer dvd's of the experience, complete with lullaby music in sync with the fetal heartbeat in the background, you can pocket 200+ bux (you have to pay in my great country) on an ultrasound to determine gender, and instead, go to your friend's office who just happens to be a veterinarian and just happens to have her very own ultrasound machine (albeit an archaic one.) And after enough internet research, I discovered, it's quite easy to tell on your own what your baby is packing in between the legs. This is how we found out baby L was going to be our first babe with a twig & berries. (Can YOU spot the turtle?)


    In June...mmm, June. I learned much in June. I learned that having a sister-in-law who is willing to be your brain in your last weeks of pregnancy is like extra long grain 410 thread count European bedsheets on a soft king sized bed. As Martha Stewart would say...It's a good thing. June also reminded me of how thankful I should be for not having to go through the rest of the summer as big as a blue whale on an all Fugee-o diet. June was the month that I became well versed in the many natural ways to induce labor and then became good friends with castor oil. And finally, as you may have guessed by all the baby talk...we welcomed the final member of our family. Little (10 pound) baby L was born in our living room, surrounded by 5 strong, amazing women (and a jubilant Daddy!) I learned that a womans' body is a truly marvelous thing and is capable of much more than we tend to give it credit for. Let's just say, after that experience, this KD eating, kool-aid drinking momma, had become SEMI-crunchy. Semi. You couldn't pay me to toss my KD.



  • I could be honest now and say that the rest of the year after that is just a sleepless blur, and I learned nothing to benefit my future self other than sleeeeeeeeeeep is gooooooooood. But I'm sure there were less massive things that I could drum baking with a stove that's 50 degrees hotter than it says, don't just bake for less time at that temp. You'll still get hockey puck cup cakes.
  • Or, it's probably worth while to invest in a personal recorder device of some kind when you have a 2 year old. This way, you can just record the "Use your words", "Suck in that big lip", "Do not feed the fish your chicken nuggets", instead of losing your voice at least once a week from repeating the aforementioned encouragements.
  • Or a good lesson might be, when cleaning the floor, it is acceptable, maybe once in a blue moon, not that I ever do this, to kick a piece of macaroni under the fridge to avoid bending not do this with an ice cube, or 10. They will melt. I promise you. And what you thought was an evil little secret between you and the little devil on your shoulder, is now getting EVERYONE'S socks sopping wet when they go to get milk for their cereal.
So all in all, 2008 had it's share of teachable moments and extraordinary endeavors. There is always much to take notice of, so that we can be better at what we missed the first time. Although sometimes, there ARE those rare occasions, when an event just might be so cataclysmic that it elicits your memory to forget forever it's moral. In my case, I have only one case that comes to mind from this year that fits nicely into this category. So after this one time of mentioning it, I shall forever erase it's significance in my memory. It just so happened that I was approximately 14 weeks pregnant, when my big boss stopped into my classroom. She only ever popped her head in maybe biannually and it was always a surprise. I was inwardly proud that on that day, I was wearing an outfit without any remnants of sparkles, glue or paint on it, and that my curriculum for the day could only be described as stellar. Miss. Big Wig took notes vigorously throughout the class, and after all my lil monkeys had cleared out she gave me a glowing report. I was feeling quite proud, when suddenly, without warning, my morning/afternoon/evening sickness decided to show up full force. Before I even had a split second to give any type of caution, or look the other way, I ralphed Campbell's chunky soup all over her thousand dollar, peep toed, Jimmy Choo black and red leather stilettos. What, oh WHAT, may I ask you can I learn from this? What could I have possibly done different? The answer is nothing. Absolutely nothing. That's why, from this moment on, this memoir of glory from 2008, is banished from my cranium.

So, take a moment, think back over your 2008 life lessons, laugh at a few, maybe cry at a few, and certainly banish a few. For you know, banishable memories are like shoes in a must get rid of a few old ones, to make room for the new ones! Happy 2009, my chocolates. YOU are loved much.


Anonymous said...


Skyla Bradley said...

I totally forgot that Ice melted...dang.