NMM

Because, of course, I only let books like "How to Make a Perfect Stew" and "How to Quilt for 24 Hours Straight and Not Lose Feeling in Your Fingers", in my house, there's no chance that I could have caught my daughters reading trashy celebrity gossip magazines. If by chance, they somehow ended up in my house, I would have to plead the 5th and say that I have no clue who would buy such junk.

Because I am all for teaching practical life lessons, I thought it would be a fantastic idea to let Princess B help with the waffle making.And it was a great experience, especially since I didn't exhaust my voice saying, "Hands AWAY from the waffle iron, it's HOT!" After the thousandth reminder, I certainly did not turn to grab some flour, when I hear a shrieking cry and this being the result:

I did not let my child turn into a raisin in the tub while I finished reading about Edward and Bella.

I do not feed my children junk...see? 66 % REAL fruit juice! It even says NATURAL! I KNOW!!

I always dress my kids in their clothes to play downstairs. I would never let them just romp around in their swimsuits. That's unladylike. You never know when the queen may stop in.

I do not place my hair on my son's head pretending he's a girl...or at least that he's got hair. Nope, would never.

And finally, I do not miss my 6 month baby belly.

Because, look!! I still HAVE a 6 month baby belly!!